Me and Computers

And this is only Monday. I can hardly wait for the rest of the week. I forgot what I was going to say, because for the longest time, they tried to tell me I was not ME! They always tell me that when I try to respond to Em's blogs. I may have to make up a new name and password to make a comment! (Which, by the way, was funny. I loved the bird poop story! And the others I had to catch up on, naturally!)

So I am job hunting from a distance. I go once a week to papers around my hometown in PA, to see if someone, Anyone! needs my services. Last Saturday, I found one around Pittsburgh. It sooooo sounded just like what I can do, and have done for ages.

So I went to my resume that I have saved on here. Brought it up.

I needed to add a few things. To make it sound better. (They weren't actually lies, honest!) Then I needed to create a cover letter. I have already set up accounts at all the local papers around there, so that I can email all my stuff. So I did.

Now, did I send it? Noooooooooooo. My computer won't communicate. I get some "error" message. I checked everything, and even emailed stuff I didn't want to, to people I never see. But when it comes to the resume, it will NOT send it.

I thought I'd print it out, and just send it snail mail. You can't do that if your printer will only print half a page. It wasn't doing that before! I tell ya there is a conspiracy! Anyhow, I tried sending it to me at work. I could print it out that way.

Evidently I created spam or a file that was too big...... it wouldn't accept it! (Our expert tech doesn't like me. He probably has my computer at work booby-trapped!)

Sooooooooo I came home, said I'll put it on a disc, take it in and plug in. Then print it.

Wrong. Esy sent me a bunch of discs. All empty. And all, evidently, NOT working in my computer! I thought maybe I'd have to re formulate them. No. It says they are fine.

I would like to blame it on the old computer. I would like to blame it on pretty much anything! Truth be known, I am probably just not smart enough to know what I am doing! Maybe I better go back in my resume and delete a few things!

Ok, tomorrow is Tuesday. I'm sure it will be better!!!!!!

Dear Diary

Ok, so I am having a bad day, and my family lives so far away. I have a tendency to NOT make friends.... good friends you can confide in, ya know?

Where that came from, I can only guess. Mom was a very private person. Dad was also a very private person. Ergo, I am a very private person. I can count on one hand the number of people who know the Real me at all!

People used to be surprised when I acted. Years ago, when I split up with the kids' dad, nobody knew we were having problems. They were all totally shocked. And when I split up with my latest husband several years ago, nobody knew things were bad. I left my job, and none of them had a clue. These were people I had worked with for over 7 years.

I discovered that when you confide, you are vulnerable. And I have never liked being vulnerable. I am the ultimate "handle it all..... do it all" person. I'm the person everybody else comes to when they have problems. Because I have none of my own. That can make you feel good, and that can make you feel shitty.

Today I feel shitty.

The job I have, I used to love. There was constant change, constant challenges. I love that. I had a few snags... that's why they hired me in the beginning. There were certain staff that were lax........ well, that's a good word. I started out with people who stole time, property. I managed to get rid of all but one. That one is the reason that now I am searching for something closer to home.

I don't know if any of you have ever worked for a Not for Profit Company, but I can tell you now, I would rather work for a company who's bottom line is profit. I can understand that. My hands are tied in many ways here. For instance, the one man I need to fire is their "success story". (I would rather not have a success story if I had one like him.)

They took Bill on at Community Service 9 years ago. Seems he was at a party, someone said something he didn't like, and Bill went out to his vehicle, got his gun out, and shot the guy in the knee. That is one HELL of a success story. I think most of the higher ups are afraid if they get rid of him, Bill will shoot them. So I am saddled with him. And being saddled with him calling off when there is hard work (21 days so far this year!)now my good staff is starting to go. If Bill can get away with this, then why are they working so hard.

I told MY boss, the next write up needs to come from him. The last time I wrote Bill up ( for flat out lying on his time card!), Bill called Bob, my boss, and said "She sticks up for the afternoon shift, and I get written up."

I asked Bob to give me a spreadsheet with all Bill's absences. I can fire him. This has been a week now, and still no sheet. Is he afraid?

Anyhow, I am at the end of the rope that leads to JCC. I'm now looking for another rope to swing to. Anywhere near PA will be fine.

Other than that, my life is just ducky!

Why, oh WHY do you People Let me DO THIS???

Ok, my livingroom is a shambles. You might ask why. Well, the tv stand that I built? The one shelf was not even..... that is to say it was crooked! If you cocked your head to the right, it looked fine. But only left-handed people cock their head to the right. (I think its some sort of quirk.)

Well, I cocked my head once too often, to the left. So now the TV, boom box, and the Comcast "we can give you oh so much better, and charge you an arm and a leg, and sorry you have an old tv " Box are sitting in the middle of the livingroom floor. My stand that I was oh so proud of, is laying on its side. I have all the proper tools out to dismantle it, and put it back together. I'll do that tomorrow. I sweated getting all the stuff apart!

I remember when I wasn't so particular. I'm thinking it wasn't that long ago. But back then, I didn't HAVE to be. My ex bought everything of the finest quality. If it wasn't right, he tossed it and bought again. (Doesn't he sound like a Saint???) Nobody would ever outdo him in purchases. Of course, when the credit card bill came in, he'd lecture me on watching my spending. ( I, myself, NEVER used his credit card, but that is a totally different story!)

Today, I have my T-Square, my yardstick, and my pen at the ready. I used some old wallpaper that I have a habit of saving........... and lookit that, it came in handy! I'm using the straight side as a guide. So far, I have noted that I am about 3 inches off on the top........ no wonder people have to tilt their heads!)

I think I have done quite enough domestic shit today. I'll let you know how straight it is after I take all the screws out, re-align it, and rescrew it. I'm hoping I finish it sometime this year. (see previous "project" blog.)

And, a quick note: I am hating my job immensely! Sometimes, when you think about doing something..... like moving back home, you notice all the little things....... or big things, in my case. So, I am working on my resume like a demented person......... uh, wait. I AM demented. Ok, I am working on my resume. I will lie some, in order to get the job I want. And, I need all of you for references. Pretend I did something fantastic for you!!

Enough for the night. I think I'm tired.

Can I Pick Another Race to Belong To?

I was reading the mail.... The passengers on the flight that the man with TB took (I am horrible with names, as you will discover), are now suing him for possible exposure to TB. Evidently this is different than someone with TB who thinks they actually NEED to eat, so they go to the store to buy groceries...... thereby exposing everyone in the store to the disease. Damn good thing those people didn't know that!

This is a freaking SUE HAPPY race! Prisoners sue because they are not allowed to have ice cream kept in the freezer......personal ice cream. People sue because someone allowed them to become drunk and they wrecked and killed someone. People sue because their child was hurt at a camp that THEY signed papers for the child to attend! Many, many people sued because they got cancer from smoking cigarettes that they had been warned about for years. Give me a break! Where does it say that a person is not responsible for themselves?

I could see if someone on that flight had tested positive for TB, but no, noone did. They are suing because they MIGHT have tested positive?

This is my own personal opinion (which I think is still legal...... at least at this writing), but somewhere along the line, we should all be responsible for our own selves. This is why America........ Hell, the WORLD, is in such a mess. Noone wants to take responsibility for themselves!

Recently, the sister of one of the guys who works for me, was robbed... in broad daylight...... in a parking lot of a major department store. A man pulled alongside her shopping cart, which was parked by her car while she unloaded groceries into her trunk. Her purse was in the cart. He grabbed the purse, which was hooked onto the cart. Julie held onto the cart. The man then pulled a gun and pointed at her, and she let go of the cart. He grabbed the purse then, and sped off.

Same store a week later, a 67 year old woman was walking back to her car and three women in a car slowed down and one grabbed the purse from the woman's shoulder. The lady held on, and was drug through the parking lot. Results? A broken hip, a concussion, abrasions.

Has that store beefed up security? Uh, no. They said they have "cameras". The cameras showed nothing discernible. Oh, and I have shopped at that store. I don't put my purse in my cart. I watch where I am, and who is around me, and I do have Mace in my purse. If someone attacks me, please do NOT sue.

Murder for no reason. Theft. Vandalism. Just plain meanness. What is up with the world? With the human race? I don't like this race. I'm sort of leaning toward animals now. I think I should maybe join a racoon family. They eat when they are hungry. They don't attack unless you threaten their young.

Yeah, I think from now on, I will claim descendency from racoons. Safer. Yeah, thats it. Erase my name from the human beings of the world. They are basically an ugly race.

I washed clothes today. Not unusual, since I am not allowed to go to work in the nude. But as I was folding them, I noticed.......... they are the same clothes that I wash every damn washday! Why? Because I only change them once a day. I get up, take off the jammies, put on my work clothes and head off down the yellow brick road. (Or in my case, the black/gray cement, tarmac or whatever it is.) I work. I come home, get my shower, put on my jammies. On the rare day that I don't work, I might put on shorts and a tee shirt. Or sweats, if its cold.

When I go to the store, I do so in the clothes I wore to work, because I stop on my way home. Once I unlock my door from the outside and walk into my apartment, I lock the door on the inside. I' m done for the day.

Do I go out with the girls after work? No. Do I date? No, Hell No. I work. Period. From 9:30 in the morning until 7 or later at night. For a salary. No overtime, no comp time. I'm a dedicated worker. Or so they say. I'm too tired after my day to have any kind of night life. Except my computer. I live on it. lol

I used to have a life. Do I miss not having one? Yes. I would love to go for a drive, stop for a burger, see a movie, anything. Besides not having the energy, I don't have the desire at present. I think I am more focused on getting bills paid, so I can move back home. I could move back tomorrow, but my kids did not make my bills, and therefore they will NOT help me pay them. And they would try. God Love Them, they would try. So, in two months my car will be paid off. After the new computer I want to buy, I will take that money and apply it to the other bills. Hopefully in two years, they will all be paid, and I can go back where I belong.

OR, I can look for a job at a sister facility. There are several I'm checking on every week. Close to home. I even thought of applying at a Convention Center or such. I enjoy that part of my job. I deal well with the clients, and I listen to their needs. However, I will find one. And then I will move home.

And then, just maybe, I can have a life. And a more diverse load of clothes to wash!